Title: Jeffries Tube
Fandom: Star Trek
Pairing: Kirk/Spock
Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek or it's characters. This is just a romp around my brain :)
Rating: PG-13
Prompt: "Kirk/Spock - trapped in the Jeffries tubes with the atmospheric controls malfunctioning, so it's hot and humid. Spock is, naturally, cool as a cucumber while Kirk is bouncing off the walls." from st_xi_kink.
Summary: Kirk and Spock get stuck in an overheated Jeffries tube.


“Mother always warned me about this.”

“Your mother foresaw you being trapped in a Jeffries tube?”

“What? No! Well, maybe. There was that time I got stuck in that drawer…”

“This caused her to declare you would be trapped here?”

“No, it caused her to declare ‘James Tiberius Kirk! I swear you’d put yourself in a coffin if given the chance!”

“Well, the dimensions of this tube are approximately-“

“Spock?”

“Yes?”

“Shut up.”

“Yes, Captain.”

Some shuffling noises. Kirk slamming his elbow into the side of the tube.

“GODDAMIT!” Beep. Hiss. “What just happened?”

“I believe you just broke the atmospheric conditioner.”

“…I would manage to do that.”

“Agreed.”

A pause. “Is it me, or is it getting warm in here?”

“I was just considering that the temperature has increased by 5 degrees and appears to be rising.”

A pause. “You are not having what humans call a hot flash.”

Thwack. “I suppose that was warranted.”

“It was.”

Several minutes go by. Slightly labored breathing.

“I never did like summer weather. Hot enough to make your balls sweat. Itchy and annoying as hell.”

“My ‘balls’ as you say are in my back, and therefore do not sweat.”

“Be thankful. I can’t kick them there.”

Pounding on the walls.

“Causing noise will allow Scotty to remove us any faster.”

“Don’t you ever get restless, Spock?”

“Restlessness is illogical. It will not cause the future to arrive any sooner.”

Muttering. “Of all the people to get stuck on an island with…”

“This is not an island. It is a Jeffries-“ Thwack. “Understood.”

“GOD. It’s so HOT!”

“I find the temperature quite comfortable.”

“At least one of us is.”

A pause.“If you are indeed overheated it would be logical to remove your clothes.”

Silence. Laughter. “You just want to get me naked.”

“I am only suggesting a logical course of action-“

Rustle of fabric. Clanging as shoes are removed, followed by pants.

“There. Happy, Spock?”

“…indeed.”

Silence.

“Hey!” A slap.

“You pinched me!”

“I was merely trying to ascertain if you were still conscious.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“Perhaps not.”

“I thought so.” Pause. “Listen next time you want to ‘ascertain if I’m still conscious’ do it this way.”

Sounds of a kiss. “Okay?”

“Indeed.”

Silence. Shuffling. A moan.

“It would be more logical to maintain continuous contact. This would eliminate the need for periodic checks.”

“Mmmm.”

“I’m afraid I didn’t understand.”

Breathless. “Just don’t stop.”

Seal opens. “Captain, ye all ri-oh! Well, I got here just in time then!”

Sigh.

"Indeed."